To the guy wearing a t-shirt that says "simplicity," ostensibly espousing a simple lifestyle through a de-emphasis on consumption

Check out my t-shirt that says “inadvertently ironic”

If we learn one thing from “Love Potion No. 9,” it’s that the cop at 34th and Vine really doesn’t like to be kissed by strangers.

Handy tip to sound "hip" to today’s music

When referring to the artist Ke$ha, the dollar sign is slient.

Does David Beckham call it “Bend It Like Me”?

OK, other than F. Scott FitzGerald and everyone who has ever had a failed comeback

Who says there are no second acts in life?

Best songs with "Forever" and "Young" in title, in order of preference

1. “Forever Young (acoustic),” Bob Dylan

2. “Young Forever,” Jay-Z feat. Mr. Hudson

3. “Forever Young (electric),” Bob Dylan

4. “Forever Young,” Alphaville

5. Tie: every other song featuring those words, including those yet to be written, even even those banged out by an infinite room with an infinite number of tone-deaf monkeys at an infinite number of out-of-tune pianos

6. “Forever Young,” Rod Stewart

498 To Go

As of this morning, in my life I have now received angry “cease and desist”-type phone calls from two directors of communications for companies on the Fortune 500.

Almost ready to check that one off my bucket list.

Typical sentences spoken by online marketing professionals that could actually sound sexy if sung by Barry White

“Would you like to opt in?”
“How about a double opt-in?”
“I’d like to lower your CPM.”
“I will present you with the right offer, at the right time, on the right device.”
“Check out these click-through rates.”
“It’s all inbound.”
“I’d like to be your brand advocate.”
“I would like to update all of your accounts … at once.”

So if you’re a habitual rapist, you get a six-game suspension? But if you fight dogs (and your equipment includes something called a “rape stand”) you get a full year?

Today’s Q&A is related to running

Q: Do you hate running?
A: Sure do!