1. Borrowed my friend Rick’s 1992 Toyota pickup and retrieved my snow blower from Somerville
2. Used a power-washer to clean off a tarp
3. Had my fantasy football teams go 2-0
4. Didn’t shower on Saturday
5. Didn’t shave all weekend
6. Cleaned my basement
7. Resisted the temptation to get a pedicure when Juliet was getting her nails done (which is regrettable, as my toenails are a mess)
(File under “dabbling in gender stereotypes”)
After two weeks, I am mired in 8th place in our contest, beating only the Amish-beard-guy who ultimately shaved last week.
Why can’t I grow a decent beard? Well, according to beards.org,
Basically, there is nothing that you can do to increase your beard development. Genetics and hormones
are the major determinants of an individual’s beard development. Unless you suffer from a hormonal
imbalance, generally there is no medical treatment available to increase beard growth. If you have any
doubts or concerns, you should consult a physician and possibly even an endocrinologist and
dermatologist.
Well, short of a trip to the endocrinologist, which seems like a bit of overkill, I am going to need something pretty drastic to move up in the standings. Or I could maintain my dignity and just shave.
After one week, I am mired in 8th place in the second semi-annual fama PR beard-growing contest. I may need to do something drastic to make up some points, as unfortunately, the barba isn’t going to get any better than this. The current leader, a 100-1 longshot at the start, went all Amish on us with the "chin curtain" in week 1. I think he may have shot his beard wad (so to speak) by pulling the early surprise for style points. Ladies, any suggestions on eyebrow pencil-like substances to use for filling in the (many) sparse parts beyond my goatee?
